Episode 24

DARVO in Real Life: The Public Lie vs. The Private Pain-Part 2 of 4: "Living in the Aftermath of DARVO"

🎙️ Episode 24 -DARVO in Real Life: The Public Lie vs. The Private Pain

July Spotlight – Mental Health & Entrepreneurship

Host: Tina White, The Trigger and The Truth

🎧Part 2 of 4: "Living in the Aftermath of DARVO"

"Welcome back to The Trigger and The Truth. I’m your host, Tina White. This is Part 2 of our July Spotlight: DARVO in Real Life.

Today, we’re talking about the part nobody warns you about: what happens when the lie gets louder than the truth.

When your abuser becomes the victim.

When the public believes them—and you’re left alone with your pain."

PART 1: LIVING IN THE LIE THEY CREATED

“After the assault, after the betrayal, you think the worst part is over. You think it’s behind you. But no—The violence was the opening act.

What followed was a campaign. A smear campaign built on denial, half-truths, and full-blown lies.

My sibling started telling the story before I could even process what happened. They controlled the narrative. They said I was unstable, bitter, exaggerating.

And what happens when a charismatic liar starts talking before the truth can catch up?

People believe them."

PART 2: DARVO EXPLAINED IN REAL LIFE TERMS

"This isn’t just family dysfunction. This is DARVO at work.

Deny: They said it never happened.

Attack: They told others I was crazy, aggressive, and starting drama.

Reverse Victim and Offender: Suddenly, they were crying to others about how I had mistreated them.

And the scariest part?

People love a victim story. Especially when it’s wrapped in charm and tears."

PART 3: THE PRIVATE PAIN OF PUBLIC DISBELIEF

"I was left to sit in silence.

I couldn’t post about it. I couldn’t cry to the people I thought were my support system. Because some of those people had already been recruited by the lie.

You ever been betrayed and then have to watch people comfort the person who hurt you? That’s a special kind of heartbreak.

The isolation was brutal.

The confusion was worse.

I kept asking myself, Am I crazy? Did I make this up? Am I overreacting?

That’s what DARVO does. It doesn’t just attack your story. It attacks your sanity."

PART 4: THE IMPACT ON BUSINESS AND MENTAL HEALTH

"Let’s talk facts—because this isn’t just emotional. It’s financial.

I lost focus. I lost deals. I lost sleep.

Clients could sense my energy shift. Partners could feel my withdrawal.

And then COVID hit—and my already fragile business foundation crumbled even further.

I was in survival mode:

Trying to keep my business alive.

Trying to keep my family safe.

Trying to keep my mind from breaking completely.

But surviving isn’t the same as healing. And working yourself to death doesn’t make the pain go away."

PART 5: NAMING THE TRUTH, EVEN WHEN THEY WON’T

"It took me a long time to say this out loud without choking on the guilt and shame.

But let me say it for somebody listening today:

They may never admit what they did. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

You don’t need their confession to validate your survival.

Your peace is not on hold until they tell the truth.

Sometimes, the healing begins when you stop waiting for the apology—and start speaking your truth, whether anyone claps for it or not."

PART 6: UPLIFTING TAKEAWAY – RECLAIMING YOUR VOICE

"If you’re in that place where the lie feels louder than your voice—don’t stop talking.

Even if you have to tell your story alone in your journal at first. Even if nobody believes you yet.

Your truth will outlast their story.

And one day, your healing will be louder than their denial.

Keep building. Keep leading. Keep healing.

Because what they did isn’t your legacy. What you build from the rubble is."

"If this episode spoke to you, I encourage you to share it with someone who feels silenced right now.

Next, we’ll talk about what it really takes to rebuild your business and mental health after betrayal.

Until then—protect your peace, guard your truth, and remind yourself daily: you are not the villain in your survival story."

🎧 Listen now: Living in the Aftermath of DARVO

#DARVO #BetrayalTrauma #TriggerAndTheTruth #EntrepreneurHealing #MentalHealthInBusiness

About the Podcast

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The Trigger and The Truth
Real Stories, Real Conversations, Real Healing

About your host

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Tina White

Tina White is a truthteller, trauma disruptor, and the unapologetic voice behind The Trigger and The Truth podcast—a healing platform where pain meets purpose and storytelling becomes therapy. A native of South Jamaica, Queens, Tina brings over two decades of lived and professional experience navigating complex relationships, systemic grief, generational trauma, and emotional survival.

Her own journey—through loss, poverty, sexual assault, fractured family ties, and the residual impact of the crack era—fuels her commitment to helping others find clarity and healing. With deep roots in community advocacy, mental wellness, and transformation, Tina creates a safe, judgment-free space where guests and listeners alike can unpack emotional triggers and uncover the truths buried beneath them.

As the founder of several wellness and justice-centered initiatives, Tina is more than a podcast host—she’s a cultural voice for the unheard, a catalyst for deep healing, and a mentor for those finally ready to face their past and reclaim their peace.

Whether she’s guiding a raw conversation on grief, interviewing a mental health expert, or dropping therapeutic gems solo, Tina shows up fully—real, rooted, and ready to break generational cycles with truth and tenderness.